SailorGirlfriend.com Blog

I've been a housewife for the last 3.5 months and realized that there are many advantages and disadvantages for being a housewife without kids. We've been married for 6 months now and after my husband left the military when his term was over, we moved across country 4 months ago for a new adventure for his new job as a civilian. I had to leave my job behind as well.

At first I was scared about being home with just our dog while my husband was at work. I overcame that fear and it helps to have a big dog at home. Here are the advantages and disadvantages for being a housewife (with no kids):

Advantages to being a housewife

• I have more time to work out. I'm in better shape now than when I was on my wedding day! Planning a wedding and working full time was so stressful and busy. I had to squeeze in time to work out and that stress wasn't making my body improve. I'm happy that I am looking good! As you know, stress decreases your work out effectiveness, which leads me to the next advantage.
• I am less stressed out. Well, it's because I don't have a job right now (but I am looking) and the truth is, because my husband makes enough to support the both of us, I'm not as stressed out to look for a job. I do look every day online and apply or send my resume to at least one company a week. The job choices here are limited since our town population is only 40,000 people. Work plays such a huge part of your life though. Because I am not working, I am so stress-free!
• I have more time to play Words with Friends and take on new hobbies. I am addicted to online gaming. I admit it and being a housewife provides more leisure time to explore my hobbies, which leads to the next advantage.
• I am cooking and we are eating healthier. Because I have the time to cook at home now, my husband and I are eating healthier and our overall health is good. We also save money on food because when we were both working, we would eat out a lot since we didn't have a lot of time. I always got home from the office later than he did from the navy base. I am not an expert on cooking yet but I am learning and my husband loves my food. He likes that immediately when he gets home, there's food waiting for him. I guess that leads to the next advantage.
• My husband is happy with our marriage. This is so huge. I know all husbands are different but my husband really likes that I am home and taking care of our dog and house. I'm not like Martha Stewart yet but I do laundry regularly, cook and clean our living space. It also makes it less stressful for him when he gets home because everything is in order in our shelter. 

Disadvantages to being a housewife

• I'm unemployed and that is viewed as a negative trait to some people. So, I have to face society about this one. Two of the most common questions you get when you meet or see someone is "how is work" or "what do you do" and for me these are always awkward questions because I get insecure about not contributing to the workforce right now. I've always been going to school or working ever since I was in preschool and now for the first time in my life, I am doing neither. I don't want people to think that I'm dumb and can't find a job or aren't qualified. And once again, I am looking. 
• It can get lonely. Thank goodness we have a dog. He is my best friend right now since we've just moved to a different state and I haven't made any new friends yet. My friends and I keep in touch regularly and I do have the treadmill to release some endorphins so I stay okay. However, every once in a while, I'll miss my friends who are 10 states away and wish I could just meet them for coffee. If I were working or going back to school, I may be able to make new friends easier.
• It can get scary to get a knock on the door. When my husband is at work, it's just my dog and me at home. Luckily, our dog barks whenever there is a stranger walking close to our door so he alerts me. I just have this paranoia that without my husband, some guy can just barge in and I could be held captive by strangers. Then I think about my protector; my dog.  He looks like he can shred anybody to pieces so that keeps me sane. I also have kitchen knives so I can be prepared. See how paranoid I am? 
• I'm shopping online more than usual, which can be expensive. I have the time now to hop on the computer and just look at clothes and purses online and have been on a shopping binge. My husband doesn't mind it too much yet because he wants to keep me happy but he has been noticing that I am getting a lot of boxes in the mail. This can be costly so I have to keep my wallet in check and not buy as much. 

Well, overall there are more advantages for me as a housewife. The important advantage is that I'm healthier and in better shape which makes me very happy. Being happy with less stress can prolong your life tremendously and what is the point of life, if you're always going to be miserable?

I guess the trick is balance. I need to find a job I love so that it's not too stressful and also make sure this job gives me time at home to cook and work out. I think instead of a full time job, I will be looking for a 20-30 hour a week job to keep me happy and my husband happy, knowing that I can carry out housewife duties as well.

How is your housewife life treating you?

Read and watch 2 videos about my job search struggles after being a staying at home mom for years.

Recently, I've been pondering about wearing my wedding ring on my left hand and wearing my engagement ring on my right hand. I'm trying to think if anyone else has done that. Most of my friends and colleagues wear both their wedding ring and engagement ring on the left ring finger. I've been doing this for the last 6 months (since I got married) as well. However, I feel like my engagement ring looks better by itself. It also reminds me of when he proposed and that was a great memory. My rings match okay. He bought my engagement ring and didn't consider buying a bridal set initially so we had to look for a wedding ring later that matches my engagement ring and I think we did a good job. I have a past, present and future classic ring (3 diamond stones) which was a surprise because he chose it all by himself (which makes me love it even more!) so I feel like it does more justice to the ring if it's just by itself. 
 
 VS.
  
How do you wear your ring? 

My parents want to visit my husband and me next month and stay for a week but I really don't want them to. We recently moved to the East Coast from California after we got married so we've lived in our new home for 2 months now. We got married four months ago so we're newlyweds.

I hinted to my mom that she should just stay for 5 days because it'll get boring but she insists that they stay for a week. Seriously, when I was living in California, I only see her for half a day once a week because she drives me nuts and nags a lot. I don't know why she thinks it's any different because we live farther away?

I'm so glad that we live farther away from my parents. Is that bad? I know the older adults will say that I will regret thinking this way later on but I don't think so. I can't stand my Dad's racist remarks in public and my mom's nagging and asking me incessantly if I'm on birth control or not. It feels gross to me. 

I am so upset about their visit that it's 1 AM right now and I can't sleep because I'm so bothered about their upcoming visit. And it's one month away!

Having a beach theme wedding is very appropriate when your wedding is by the water, literally. Instead of having a high centerpiece, where it's hard to talk to the person right across from you at dinner, have a small centerpiece that matches the theme. With your matching flowers inside the seashell, it will still wow the guests and make them comfortable to look around the room. Ask if your florist can do this. This was on a bar table but they were also on the dinner tables with 3 candles surrounding them. With the napkins and plates, they were very fresh and appropriate. Make sure the flowers match your hand bouquets. 
  


Wedding Planning Books:

I've been applying online for jobs. Every application takes hours to fill because they are all different with their own different tests to take. And the sad thing is, most of them don't call you back. Imagine when there were no online applications and you had to fax it or mail it in? Then you knew at least someone was touching your paper. Now, there are scanning softwares that scan resumes for recruiters so they can find the right key words without sitting for hours shuffling through papers. So that means, no one has probably even touched your resume before deciding yours is not a good candidate.

My Goodness!

This is going to take me forever! Last month, I ended my job of 6 years for a really great company. I moved away with my husband and now I am eager to start finding a job so I can at least pay my phone bill and car bill without my husband worrying about my bills too much.

I think it'll probably take me another month until I'll actually get a phone call for an interview. At least I got a head start and updated my resume and sent it to 10 companies so far.

I applied to jobs I didn't really have experience for but have always wanted to try like pharmaceutical sales. I even applied to Nascar, even though it was 2 hours from me. Silly me. Who knows, maybe they'll let me work from home if they actually need someone.

Anyway, good luck to everyone out there looking for a job. I know I was so fortunate to have my last one for 6 years. But change is good and this is my opportunity to look for a new career shift.